My Superman Dream (my first attempt ever at putting it into words) I'm at such an amazing point in my life when I really think about it and I tend to think more of it every day. (born Nov 1940)As a younger man I had a Superman attitude, you know, that dream state where your tyeing sheets torn into cape shapes around tour neck and charging head long, bounding from rock to rock or yard to yard, running head long into the wind. A lot of you guys know what I'm talking about, where ya fly in as the hero and cheers from Heaven resound. (time line-1950) Well, that attitude carried into the second stage of my life and was me as the Life Guard, certified for pool and beach lifeguarding. As I pursued an interest in Electronics that had begun at the age of ten(by the age of eleven held my general class license and had access to the world.) Those interests paralleled my superman interests to life guard which I continued to do, with my last beach job as lifeguard at an Ocean City Beach for a summer while in the Air Force stationed at a nearby radar sight in Palarmo, New Jersey. (time line-NOV 1962)Then, after the service, got married and had three kids. My first exposures to the "real world" were profoundly disturbing but in the midst of it, I managed to continue pursuing an Electronics Career and attained my First Class Commercial FCC professionals license. All of that was just a natural progression of events but was of very little significance to me because I was still in that Superman dream. Being in that dream, my mind was constantly pointing out to me the injustices of race,gender and "the illusion of looks" in general. Only now do I know why I was sent into such a search. My Superman dream, had me seeing past looks and the injustices were so stark against the back drop of Love that the Superman dream is based upon. (time line 1967) My marriage blew up in the face of five innocent kids consisting of, my unknowing wife, my unknowing son, my unknowing daughter, my unknowing other son, and my unknowing self. By the time I was thirty six I had gone from a kid in a Superman dream to a distraught thirty six year old kid in a Superman dream. I began meditating and waiting and giving God the opportunity to show up(about a year of practicing according to a Buddhist tradition of subduing thought through principles of non attachment...more on that if you want) because I no longer had any faith in my "Superman Dream".(time line- march, 1977) Than one afternoon while meditating,he showed up. While in meditation,I had passed through the "layers" of consciousness. I passed through the bottom layer, the one made of worded thought by using The Name AM-IT-TA-BHA as a vessel repeating the name and replacing all others words with it. I was aware of having passed through the worded layer as I began to see the first pictures, at which time I discontinued the mantra of the name ascribed to the Buddha Amittabha.It took me I would guess, about 45 minutes to transverse the worded thought and to arrive at the the layer of pictures. I had been to this point in the past and was glad to get to the level of picture. To get through the layer of pictures, I knew from my understandings from previous attempts to transverse this level, I could not become attached to or awed out by the pictures I was seeing in my mind's eye, otherwise, I would be thrown back into the worded layer of my consciousness. So, at this point, I was the viewer of a series of rather fantastic picture. For example, an early picture appearing in this level was that of a Chalet' In what I perceived as Switzerland, though I had never been there. The roof of the Chalet' was snow covered and the sky was a brilliant azure blue. My view of the Chalet' was as if I were at the the roof line and the drifted snows on the roof had come to a"blown edge" which was just slightly to my right in my field of view and about a foot away. I was able to look above this "blown edge" of snow and see the very tops of mountains a few miles away above which was the sky I described. Looking down and to the left in my field of view I could see the face of what I assumed was the rear wall of the Chalet'. The windows were shuttered and closed and below them was a "deck" extending off to my left. he image was beautiful and it was very difficult not to become attached to it in a way that it would "thrill" me. If I had done anything other than "just let it be", back to the worded layer of consciousness I would have gone. This was just one of a series of fantastic, look like the real thing, images that I would have to get beyond if I had any hope of completing my journey. I'll describe another of the images. My point of view in another Image was from above and looking down upon a town square or circle if you would. There was a lot of human activity below as people walked or rode bicycles around and beyond the circle or square below. Like looking down from a hang glider at 300 feet or so. While looking down at this apparent reality below I soon realized that I could Zoom in and I did. It was as if I had descended from 300 feet to about 50 feet above the people below and I could see facial features and the like of what appeared to be ordinary people in their daily activities but since I wasn't used to observing human activity from above, I Had an intense urge to "feel" what I was seeing but resisted the urge because I had learned from previous attempts that I'd be tossed back to the lower level of consciousness, the words,if I scummed to my "feelings" of awl or wonder. Other fleeting images were displayed on my inner landscape till finally I reached the third level of consciousness, a consciousness of great inner peace. I had reached this level on a previous occasion and because I had interpreted it as being "In heaven", which is easy to do, I was kicked back to the lower level of consciousness, worded thought. Where, in my basic conscious level I realized I hadn't accomplished my drive mission. To be in the company of God if indeed there was a God. But, here I was in this conscious state of being beyond "the worded layer" and "the pictured layer" that described itself by the peace of this layer and I called it the "peaceful layer". I concluded nothing that would have required words because my past experience in concluding, in words, "this was Heaven" had taught me better. So I just remained in that layer of peace quite satisfied to experience it and not "claim" it. After a time and I have no way to determine how much time,because time was not part of that layer, what I had ask for began to take place.
Just to give you a better understanding of my awareness during the time I was taking this inner journey i'll say I was meditating while laying on my back with my eyes at three quarters mast closed.I was aware that as I passed through the various layers, my rate of respiration decreased to the degree that while in the "peacefull" layer of conciousness my respiration was way way down to where my oxygen intake was very minimal. I was aware the whole time that I was meditating and why I was meditating.The journey required as much intellect as spirit but the line between the two was essentially fused by the Statement to myself which said, "If I am to go forward in this life I must "KNOW" there is a God and I will put aside all to wait on him". ....to be continued
