This little story came to mind a few minutes ago and here it is.
It's a story about a car that Billie bought.
He loved his car and drove it day and night.
One day, Billie realized his car would come to a screeching halt if he didn't change it's oil soon.
Now, Billie had a problem, he didn't have enough oil and unless he got some more, he would have to park his beloved car.
One day while Billie was driving through the neighborhood, he looked into his neighbor's back yard and to his surprise, oil, a whole case of oil.
Billie drove around to his neighbors front door and knocked.
Johnie opened the door and greeted Billie with a smile.
"My car needs an oil change and I don't have any oil" Billie said breathlessly, "Can I have you're oil"? Billie asked Johnie.
"Sure"! Johnie replied, "I'll give you half, since it's the neighborly thing to do".
Johnie thought for a second and determined that half of Billie's oil was not sufficient to do the oil change his car required, he needed all of Johnie's oil.
"Thanks neighbor", Billie responded, "But I need all of your Oil"!
"Oh no, I can't do that, I need it for my tractor", was Johnie's response.
Thinking for a second, Billie decided to take Johnie's offer of half.
As Billie drove off with half of Johnie's oil, all he could think of was....."hummm how do I get the rest of Johnie's oil?"
Over the next few months, Billie tried many ways to convince Johnie
that he should have the oil for his car but Johnie wouldn't budge on his neighborly decision of, half being sufficient.
The oil in Billie's car was getting very thick and gunky and he knew he would have to do something fast.
Billie had a friend named Dickie.
One day Billie drove to Dickie's house and explained to Dickie his plight.
"I don't have any oil to give you, my father has some but he needs it for his truck and besides, we don't get along." Dickie stated.
"Oh know", Billie said, "I don't need oil from you, I need your help so I can get the rest of Johnie's oil".
"Here's what I want you to do Dickie", Billie began,"I have a pile of brand new and expensive tires stacked up in my back yard and I want you to come over Tuesday (9-11-01) and set them on fire for me and I'll Let you ride in my car as soon as I get the oil changed."
"Oh goodie", Dickie said, jumping up and down.
"But how is that going to help you get Johnie's oil"?, Dickie asked.
"Well", Billie said, "Tires smoke a lot when they burn and they burn for quite a time. That will give me, In the midst of the confusion, the necessary time to go to Johnie's house and steal his oil."
Dickie agreed in hopes he'd get a ride in Billie's car when he got the oil he needed.
Well, when Tuesday came Dickie jumped over Billie's back yard fence
and set fire to Billie's stack of old tires before returning home.
It wasn't long before Billie's wife was screaming "Fire Fire Fire!"
and everyone in the neighborhood began running around in circles crying out, "Fire Fire Fire!"
With that, Billie jumped into his grand car and prepared to speed off.
"Where are you going?" Billie's wife called out.
"I'm going to get Dickie.... Dickie did this and I'm gonna get him!" was Billie's response.
With that, Billie sped off to Dickie's house.
By this time, the smoke from the burning tires were beginning to blanket the entire town.
When Billie got to Dickie's house, Dickie was surprised to see him and was wondering why he had come.
"I thought you were going to Johnie's house to steal his oil", Dickie
said wonderingly.
"Well", Billie said, "my wife asked me where I was going and I told her I was going after you because you set the tires on fire.I couldn't very well tell her that I was going to Johnie's house to steal his oil because she wouldn't think that was the neighborly thing to do. If I told her the truth, she would make my life a living hell but she's not smart enough to figure this out".
"OH I see", Dickie nodded agreeably.
"Now you go up and hide in the actic...If they ask, I tell them that I couldn't find you and that I even checked the attic", Billie concluded, before heading off in his grand car to Johnie's house.
By this time, the smoke from the burning tires had the whole town in the dark.
"I came to get your oil Johnie" he shouted stepping from his grand car behind Johnie's house.
Billie scooped the remainder of Johnie's oil into his arms and began running back to his car but before he got there, Johnie emerged from his back door with a Ithica twelve gage bird gun and fired off a round in Billie's direction.
Well, That scared Billie and he stopped, just short of his car but still clinging to the oil.
As luck would have it, there running up the alley toward the back yard came Billie's wife Mary Jane and a bunch of her distraught and angry friends.
Thinking fast has always worked for Billie before, and faced with Johnie's rage teamed with the prospect of his wife's rage if she found out what he was up to, He dropped Johnies oil and in a flash
looked in the direction of his wife Mary Jane....than, spun in the direction of Johnie ..... pointed right at Johnie and shouted
..............T E R R O R I S T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the end.
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